Recently this has been a topic up for debate... when I first moved to Uganda my bride price was set at 500 cows... when I went to Egypt my bride price went up to 1000 camels... did I go up in value or what?
Anyway this has all been an ongoing joke that has kept away unwanted trouble!
Today in women's Bible study we were discussing how the Proverbs 31 woman makes preparations for the future. The particular verse is 21 that talks about how she does not fear the snow as her household is doubly clothed in scarlet. I struggled as I prepped for the lesson because how do you explain what this means in a culture that has never experienced snow.
Ultimately I wanted to bring out the point that they...as women of God... needed to make preparations for their children and themselves. So the first thing we brought up is how could we prepare our children for rainy season... they believe here that if you get wet from the rain you will get very sick and possibly die... so it is something they could relate to. They decided that they wouldn't send their child out with out banana leaves to shelter them from the rain... being doubly clothed in banana leaves... ok it worked.
But as we talked about their future and making preparations I kept thinking that this is a 'live for today' culture that uses all the resources they have today because they don't know what tomorrow will bring... for example... If one of our staff gets paid... they will spend most if not all relatively quickly because if a family member or friend have an emergency and need money... the culture says you have to give what you have... and an emergency can be just about anything. One of our male workers is trying to save up for his fiancé s bride price so he has the foreman holding his pay until it is time to pay the father.
Ok with all that explained I wanted to have the ladies come up with a way to save for the future so since weddings are a big deal... I hypothetically said... I am getting married in 9 months... how much do I need to save to do this... I got responses from 100,000 UGX to 3,000,000 UGX (basically $40 to $1000)... then I posed the question... how will I come up with the money needed for the wedding? I got the response that you ask friends and family and they will give (this would be one of those 'emergencies') ... the ladies also said that you would just have to cut back on daily things which is kind of where I wanted the conversation going to lead into saving and making preparations for the future.
However I was thrown off guard when Allen asked the question... what about the gift for the bride? Here I am thinking the gifts that are received at the reception but as I was explaining she stopped me and said... no the gift given to your father for you (my bride price). I tried to explain that normally the parents of the bride and groom give gifts to the couple but the groom doesn't have to pay the parents of the bride. All four of the ladies were astounded by this piece of information!
This changed my mindset on how I have been looking at the entire issue on bride price... I guess I had always seen it as a meat market and felt like it was degrading... but after todays discussion it shows the woman has great value... the groom has to work diligently for his bride to be so he doesn't go into marriage lightly... and it is a reward for the parents for raising their daughter well!
Still not saying that I want my value measured in livestock but it has changed my perspective on what I am worth!
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