After a recent conversation with a friend about to get married, I have a bazillion thoughts running through my head on the comments from other believers on marriage. You have probably heard some of these....
Just make the choice and God will bless it.
Oh he doesn't need to be a believer... that will come later.
Or... you're single... he's single... and you both are believers.
You are too young... you don't know what you want.
Or... you're not getting any younger... you just need to settle down.
When you are ready to get married, just pick someone.
And my all time facorite... You're single? What is wrong with you?
Ok... the more of these I write the more irritated I get over what our society and culture has done to the sanctity of marriage... an institution put in place by God. The verse that says 'it is not good for man to be alone' has been thrown out to me so many times with the implication that I should just find one and settle down. Now to be completely honest... I have met some amazing single men ( believers and unbelievers) but I have not been called to marry them.
Could I have made the choice to marry one of them? yes
Could it have been used for my good? yes
Would it have been God's best? Probably not
Ultimately I believe love is a choice... I will choose to love and respect the man that God puts in my life for His plan and purpose in His timing. After 20+ years of getting to know the God of the universe, I do not believe that he just started the earth spinning and let it go... he is involved in the day to day operation of each thing that happens. The Word says that nothing happens without his knowledge and his permission... for he is omnipotent. How much more should he be involved in the entity of marriage... something that is to image the trinity? (A cord of 3 strands is not easily broken = God + husband + wife... found in Ecclesiastes)
So for those that say the only stipulations to marriage for a believer are that they be single and a believer.... I disagree. (If this the case... why are their still beleivers that are single and why is every believer not happily married? The stats still hold true that 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce.) What happened to seeking and hearing the Lord's voice? Where does the peace that passes all understanding come in? Where does seeking godly wisdom come into play?
With all that said... God loves you whether you are single... married... divorced... or separated and He chooses to use each according to his perfect plan! You are no less of a person because you are single.
Married believers ... come along side the young married and engaged couples... encourage them to follow the Lord wherever He leads.
Married ladies... be that Titus 2 woman that encourages the younger women how to respect their husbands and raise their families in the way of the Lord.
Single believers ... stand firm in what God has called you to do today. God doesn't write two identical love stories so know that yours will not look the same as any one elses expectatuons. And just remember... your God loves you more than giving you second best.