Monday, August 27, 2012

Heart to Heart

Lord- You and I need to have a heart to heart about life... and direction... and boys... and ministry.  My heart is torn.  I want answers but all I hear is wait... trust me... faith is things unseen... be content for today.   I am making the changes you have called me to but these changes make me more emotional and nervous.  You are a big all knowing God and I know you can handle my questions... I also realize that you see the bigger picture and I don't.  I need answers and your calmness despite the emotions.  I want to be that calm, steady woman but I feel like I am on a boat in the midst of a storm. 

Here are my questions...

  • You have made the promise that I will be a wife and mother on this earth... when is this going to happen?
  • I need your wisdom to know what are deal breakers and what you desire me to handle and grow through.
  • What am I transitioning into?  Where am I heading?  What are you prepping me for?  Everyone has an idea but I want YOU!
So I guess I need to focus solely on you.  Trust that when it is time all answers will be revealed and live a life of purity! 

Sunday, August 19, 2012

What speaks to your heart?

Nothing speaks a message clearer to my heart than worship before God through music.  Words that my mouth can't utter through plain spoken word can be put to music and transfer me to the foot of the Jesus.

After prayer and praise tonight my heart is so overwhelmed with emotion.  I went in with a heavy heart seeking God's direction.  With in moments the heaviness of my heart is lifted and I am singing "How great thou art" in 3 languages... English, Hawaiian, and Samoan.  As I am recounting the words "then sings my soul... My Savior God to thee... How great thou art" my soul is singing!  God is so faithful to provide exactly what we need when we need it.  As I petition for direction, God's answer is "Not yet... my grace is enough."

God may not be working the way I think He should be but He is working.  He is working mightily!  I needed the reminder that it is not my will but His.  My desire needs to fall in line with His and I need to trust that His ultimate plan and direction is for my good and His glory.  So as Matt Redman sings... "10,000 reasons for my heart to praise."

Friday, August 17, 2012


That still small voice that whispers in your ear.  Do you make a huge life change by just a whisper?  After following Christ for quite a while, I know His voice but what if He is whispering and calling to do something never done before.  I am so used to God following His whispers with an open door. 

What if I am hearing the whisper but not seeing the open door?  Am I mistaking my makers voice or am I pigeon holing God because He has never done it that way before????

As I seek Him all I am hearing is ... Trust Me... do what I am calling you to do and my plan will be revealed.

Trusting is so difficult at times especially when you have no clue as to where it may take you!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

At the foot of the cross

Have you ever pondered... "if I were the only person on this planet, would Jesus have still come and laid down His life?"  The answer is a solid YES! We are all sinners in need of a Savior.  Looking at others, we often compare thinking things like "my sin is not as bad as theirs" but comparing orselves to God we fall short everytime.  God looks down and sees people in two categories... sinners and sinners saved by grace.

Too many times "christians" take the 'holier than thou' approach when judging others.  In this mindset there is a sliding scale of sin... some sins are worse than others... some sins are worse than others... some are small "minor" infractions.  We can always find someone with a worse sin than us. 

Personally, I am saddeded by this because at one point I had this mindset.  God has since convicted my heart of this and often brought to mind the quote "There be I but for the grace of God." 

At the foot of the cross, there is a level playing field no matter what your background or struggle.  There is no judgement or condemnation... just grace and mercy!