Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hall of Faith

As it is 2:45am and I couldn't sleep, I got up to walk and spend time with you, O Lord.  You know I have really been struggling to know where you want me and feeling no desire to continue serving here on Molokai.  I have been praying that you would restore my passion for my children and their families and you were so faithful to do that yesterday as we came back to school from break. 

So for the past hour I have not been able to sleep.  I opened your Word to where I stopped reading yesterday and it just happens to be Hebrews 11!  The hall of faith!  This entire chapter spoke to my heart-  By faith I am going to serve you until another door opens by Your hand for me to walk through.  A sense of complete and utter peace has washed over me no matter if I see what the future holds or not ... by your strength I will be faithful to serve  you all the days you have me here. 

"These were all commended for their faith yet none of them received what had been promised.  God has planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."  Hebrews 11:39-40

Friday, July 25, 2008

1 Corinthians 1:27

 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

Even in the current situation, I could add to this verse... "God chose the small things of the world to put the busy people on their back."

At the moment I am trusting that whatever God is doing in my life He will continue to do a good work.  As Paul said whether in pain or in good health I have learned to be content. 

Lord- I thank you for the healing thus far and I pray that you will continue to  take this infection from my body.  Strengthen me to do your will.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

My Week of Vacation

Do you remember every year on the first day of school your new teacher asking what did you do over the summer? Well here is what I did ... focusing on my week of vacation.

All summer I worked keeping children from 7:30 til 4 while their parents worked. After six weeks of watching between 7-10 children, I was due for a week vacation so here is what I did...

Sunday afternoon I checked in to a room with a gorgeous view of Lanai and the Pacific Ocean, had the kindest people waiting on me hand and foot, room service with three nutrious meals served daily and I was able to put my feet up in the air conditioning and watch cable... relaxing around the clock!

Some five star hotel you maybe thinking???? Well not really! I spent the first three days of my vacation checked in at Molokai General Hospital due to a medical emergency.

A very serious infection several layers under the skin had made it's home causing a LOT of pain and a temp of 101+. After 3 days at home with epsom salt baths, hot compresses, and activated charcoal, I was still in a lot of pain and still had a high fever so Amy drove me to the emergency room where I thought they would lance it, drain it, and send me home.

Long story short- after loads of antibiotics, an ultrasound, and an excruciating procedure (there is no anesthesologist on Molokai) most of the infection is out or it is continuing to drain. I have as a souvenir a rather large crater (an inch and a half deep) that has to be repacked at the hospital on a daily basis.

The whole experience also made me realize two important things
1. That I need to Be still and listen to God
2. God has put some absolutely amazing friends in my life out here! Thanks!
I am home now with the ability to move about! My calendar for the week has been cleared of meetings and even with my birthday being tomorrow.... I have NO plans!
School starts on Monday with 20 children enrolled. Please be praying that my body will continue to heal.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Romans 5:20

"The law was added so that the trespass might increase.  But where sin increased, grace increased all the more."  Romans 5:20

That grace brings our salvation before God.  As more laws are added, it again reminds me how wretched of a sinner I am.  This is a great reminder that Jesus' blood covers a multitude of sins and His amazing grace brings us through each day.

Thank you Lord for your grace to me!  I ask that you will forgive me for the numerous times daily I put my will before yours.  Help me to trust you for every detail of my life.

Lord, whether I am to be single for a lifetime you have called me to be single today.  My heart is struggling but with your hand to guide me, I will remain faithful to the calling upon my life.  I do lift up a prayer for my husband tonight that he will remain faithful to your calling as well.  Lord, bring him into my life at your appointed time and until then may I go about your business.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A Lady of Reckless Abandon

"That is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each others faith." Romans 1:12

Lord, may the faith that I live by be an encouragement to everyone that I meet.  Thank you for the friends that you have put into my life to encourage me.  People like Sybil that can relate to some of my struggles.

Excerpts from A Lady of Reckless Abandon....

(pg 13) "A woman is not born a woman.  Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child and does their dirty linen, not even when she joins a women's liberation movement.  A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be."

I feel very strongly that marriage is not a higher calling than the single state.  Happy indeed are those people, married or single, who have discovered that happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God.

"No one, not even the man that I will marry one day, can make me happy- only Jesus can."

The prayer of my heart is to be...
  • a lady of reckless abandonment- breaking my alabaster box at my Savior's feet
  • a lady of diligence- faithfully making the most of every opportunity
  • a lady of faith- believing that God will supply every need according to His perfect will
  • a lady of virtue- knowing that true character is what happens when no one is watching
  • a lady of devotion- following Jesus undistracted by the things of the world
  • a lady of purity- keeping my heart, mind, and body pure for the glory of my Savior
  • a lady of security (Psalm 84:11)- trusting that in God's perfect timing the desires of my heart will align with God's will without my manipulation and maneuvering
  • a lady of contentment (Phil 4:11-13)- waiting for I know in whatever circumstances I must be content for today
  • a lady of conviction (Psalm 73:25)- seeking daily to know Jesus on a more intimate basis
  • a lady of patience- relying on God to provide every detail of my life

Monday, July 7, 2008

Acts 27:25

"So keep up your courage men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me." Acts 27:25

Lord, Thank you for this verse that I need to keep up my courage and trust in you.  You have laid on my heart for years to pray for my husband and I have... even at times that were painful.  I am trusting that you will answer my prayers in your timing and in your way.  Not my will but yours.  I again lay all of my cares at your feet not knowing the outcome as Paul did but knowing even if my ship "wrecks" you still have a plan and purpose for me!

Monday, June 30, 2008


Lord, I am blown away by who you are and your faithfulness to meet me where I am at.  As my 29th birthday approaches, there are so many emotionsWi- ultimately my will versus yours O God.  I struggle with the thought of being 30 and not being a wife and mother.  Lord even as I write that I am reminded of the little ones you have given me.  I AM a hanai mother and the bride of Christ!  Thank you for that.

I truly surrender all to you.  Without holding one piece back may you have my ALL!  All my dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations!  May my will align under yours.  Give me hope to know that.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Haiti: Empty Me

Empty Me... that is the prayer of my heart!  As I sit here with bags packed on my way back to Molokai from Haiti my heart cries out the words to the Jeremy Camp song...

"Holy fire burn away my desire for anything that is not of you and is of me.  I want more of you and less of me."

After spending a full week in Haiti, my heart is so overwhelmed with emotion.  This trip I have spent a lot of time with the children of Haiti.  Looking into their precious faces, I think of how much of the worldly treasures they don't have but yet their little faces radiate happiness.  Last year when I came to Haiti, I sponsored a little one that I had the privilege of meeting this year.  Ismy Love and his family of seven live in a rock hut that is 10 ft by about 12 feet.  When we got there Ismy and his siblings were playing while their mother was in Kenscoff for market day.  Five of our team members went with me on this home visit and they had a blast playing and taking pictures of the children.  Love breaks through language barriers!

Haiti: on the way out

As I sit here on the eve of heading back to Molokai, my heart is saddened.  There is such a need in Haiti and I could definitely see myself working with the children out here.  I am thankful that God made it very clear last year that I am to wait until I am married in order to adopt.  Otherwise it would be an incredible struggle to leave this place without a child.  On the other hand each child that I have held reminds me to pray for my future husband and our future children.

Oh Lord, my heart breaks for each of these children living in such poverty but oh how happy they are.  May you use me to minster to these little ones that are so close to your heart.  I pray that youare preparing a husband for me even now to love and care for children as much as you do.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Haiti: visit with Ismy Love

Alysa and I were on for breakfust duty... this morning we made eggs, bacon, and rice.

At 8:30am, Shannon, Risse, Keith, Andrew, and I went up to visit my little one... Ismy in Kenscoff.  He was out of school but we went by and saw the school and visited a 4th grade classroom where the kids sang and recited a verse for us.

Our driver, Willie and translator took us up to Viard to meed Ismy Love and his family.  His mom was in town buying supplies- beans to sell.  Ismy's 13yr old brother was watching all the children.  They live in a one room rock house where 7 people call home.  The children loved the toys we brought and the mom was thrilled to see us.

After the home visit we went up to Ft. Jacque for a tour.  It was build to withhold the French troops from invading Port Au Prince.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Haiti: arrival

After way too many hours of flying, we arrived in Port Au Prince shortly after Laura Bush.  We went through customs and then met up with Julie, Alejandro, and Keith.  We collected our 30 bags and headed out the terminal to meet up with Chris and Kelli.

All of us girls jumped in with Kelli and drove up to the BHM compound with a quick stop at an overlook.  It was so good to talk with Kelli again.  The entire way up to the mission... Shannon, Alysa, and Risse were all "look at that cow", etc. ... by the time we got to the mission... Alysa had taken 300 pictures.

Once at BHM, we unloaded the bags and went up to Mountain Maid for lunch.  After lunch, Patti took the team on a tour while Lizzy and I started unpacking bags and setting up reservations for home visits with Elsa.  Once doing that we realized that school was out of sessions for the next week so we had to revamp the schedule.

By the time we had a group meeting and dinner.  When dinner was finished, everyone had a glazed over exhausted look... Everyone went to bed!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Haiti: As the journey begins...

Well it is finally that time of the year.  Off to Haiti!  After months of planning and packing for endless hours, twelve team members sit on a flight from HNL to LAX.

It has been relatively uneventful as of this morning.  Praise God!  Barney just got his passport yesterday.  Some issue with his birth certificate.  Praise God that all got taken care of.