Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Mixed emotions

Well I can't begin to express what my heart is feeling at the moment... but I know I need to attempt to share instead of keeping it locked up inside...

First and foremost... GRATITUDE...  to all of you out there... family and friends... that have come along side throughout this journey over the past few months and prayed for me... given me a place to stay for a few days...shared a meal with me... gave me a ride...asked me to share my stories...donated supplies and resources to my little brown eyed cuties... called me out when I am tempted to go down the wrong path... provided for me financially or provided for my basic needs...included me on a adventure with your family... walked with me... or just lent a listening ear over concerns or fears.. I AM BLESSED!  You know who you are and I am forever grateful!  You mean the world to me and have made this transition between worlds manageable!

EXCITEMENT... In three days... I will officially be done with the face to face classes for graduate school!  I still have a lot of editing and revisions to make on my final portfolio but the end is in sight.  Lord willing graduation day will come December 20th, 2014!

TREPIDATION....  As one cooridor is coming to an end in my life and the door is closing, I step with fear and trembling at all of the unknowns up ahead.  Before I left the village... I joked that I had a 10 week  plan but as the weeks went by and my 10 week plan became the 3 week plan and then the 2 week plan.... in all honesty started freaking out a little bit... plans were not turning out the way I thought... doors were closing but I didn't have the peace to walk through the open ones yet... and I finally reached the point where I threw up my hands!

SURRENDER... in this process, I couldn't do it and I think it was at that moment where I had two weeks left of "my" plan that I relinquished control to the divine creator.  He took my frustration and provided His perfect peace!  He also provided a reasonably priced airline ticket to go back to Africa. 

PEACE... So I now know where I will be for the next 12 weeks or so but I have also have a calmness in my spirit that he has it taken care of.  The plans at this point is to be in Uganda August and September... and He has provided some ladies to travel down and assist while I am in the village... then in October I will head to Egypt to lead a teaching conference as well as working at some schools there!  My ticket returns me to Honolulu and at that point we shall see where the Lord leads next as I do have some deadlines to meet for grad school and I want to walk with my cohort colleagues at graduation.

Please pray for wisdom, guidance, strength, and provision for me over the next few months!  And stay tuned to what lies ahead!

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