Here I sit lifting up my heart before my Savior... struggling over emotions, disappointment in myself, wanting to throw up my hands and say "what's the use?".
Waiting on God's timing has always been a struggle for me... I am not a 'wait til the last possible moment" kind of girl. I like to get things done ahead of time. I want to know what is coming.
Anyone who has walked with God for any length of time knows that God does not do theings in our timeframe but in His. (However it may be 11:59pm!)
As I am rambling to God about all the things unfair, these song lyrics pop into my mind...
"You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life... I live by faith and not by sight... for You... I'm living all for You."
A peace fills me, that no matter what I see going on around me, if I am living by faith, God will take care of the rest.
I serve a just God... a merciful God... a God who created time and space... what is a few years of waiting in the span of eternity??? Here I am trying to do certain things in my own strength when God is telling me "live by faith, not by sight."
So today, for this moment in time, I lay my singleness at Your feet. I lay my desire to be a Proverbs 31 wife and mother at Your feet. I lay my will at Your feet. I am taking a step out on faith. I'm living all for YOU!
Oh Honey...your tender heart brings tears to my eyes. I have had a desire of my heart before that had the power of taking me away from my first love, Christ. As I look back, I WISH I WOULD HAVE TRUSTED HIM MORE...as we both know, Isabella Hope is more than I could have ever imagined or dreamed up...or GIVEN BIRTH TO! He really DID want to bless me...not in the way I was asking or in the time frame for which I asked. But I can confidently say that I am so thankful that He didn't do it according to me. His Word, Will and Way is ALWAYS best. I know you already KNOW this and you LIVE it. Just wanted to share my perspective on my own longing. I love you and will pray MORE SPECIFICALLY for you! OX♥Dawn
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