"Lord I am amazed"

Tonight as I was laying bed, not sleeping, mind reeling over recent events... I decided it was pertinent for me to get up and write.  I grabbed my music, notepad, and pen to begin writing all the thoughts going through my brain....

The first song that came on really hit me... "Lord I am amazed at You!"  It is such a humbling thought that even when my mind is so far from Him he is singing over me.  It is his beauty that draws me back.  I sit here overwhelmed by His love for me.  Tonight's sunset screamed of his majesty and awesomeness. 

How does someone as stubborn and selfish as myself deserve His mighty love?  It is truly his lovingkindness that brings us to repentance.

I stand

Standing where God wants us, despite what we think we want, with a heart abandoned unto God, is one of life's very difficult tasks... but it is what we are called to do.  Over the past few months, I have been reading throught the YWAM published Christian Heros books.  These men and women served the Lord with reckless abandonment... truly standing for the Lord despite the circumstances.  Several gave up their lives to spread the gospel.  Several gave up a posh lifestyle to live in adverse poverty. 

Such an inspiration and a reminder of what we are called to do.

You and I were made to worship!!!

How come in the midst of any situation, we would rather sit around in self pity and try to handle rather than cry out to our Maker?  This thought often plagues my mind.  I know personally when something happens... I stress, worry and then I am reminded to cry out to God.  Why do we attempt to do it in our own strength rather than rest in the arms of a loving God who desires to bring us through? Why do we carry the burden when God desires to carry it for us???

This seems to be a reoccuring theme over the past week or so.  Several things have happened and my heart has felt burdened.  Then this morning I sit down to finish up my Bible study and I am taken to this verse...

"Men cry out under a load of oppression; they plead for reief from the arm of the powerful.  But no one says, "Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night..." Job 35:9-10

A great reminder that when joys, blessings, trials, and heartache come my way... instead of being a sponge soaking it all in pleading to be squeezed... I need to be a duck that lets it slide right off onto the back of God. 

So many times we expect God to carry us through hard times... but many times God desires us to stand with Him to build our faith.  He doesn't expect us to do it on our own like a three year old trying to do everything independently.  He wants complete control and surrender of our lives in order that our lives glorify Him.  You and I were created to worship... even in the tough times ... because ultimately God is still God and He is still on His throne despite the circumstances of our life.

Old and new collide

Recently on Sunday morning we have been going through a study on Truth called Believe it or Not.  Truth is true whether we believe it or not.  Just because we believe something to be true doesn't make it true.  God's word is (and should be)  absolute truth in our lives... however our society is redefining "truth".  

Absolute truth:  It's true for ALL people, for ALL times, in ALL places.

For example (be aware your toes might get a little squished on this one)-  God's word says "Do not kill"... why??? because our God is life and calls us to love one another.  Murder is not showing love.  However our countries law states that abortion is legal.... contrary to God's word.  Even though it is "ok" by our countries eyes... it is not ok in God's eyes.  Absolute truth!

With defining that, on Wednesday night we have been going through Levitical law... I was taught growing up that levitcal law was not for us so it didn't apply to us...it was just there to show how man can't meet up to God's standards ( however in the church I grew up in we had "legalistic rules" like no drinking and no dancing.)  It was all about the rules... not about the relationship.  We serve a personal God who desires a relationship... not just a bunch of rule following robots!

Old ideas colliding with new ideas.... Levitical law is truth... yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  So even though we are under grace, we still should follow Levitical law because they were set up to protect and guide us.  We are not bound to the law (nor are we saved by it)  but we should desire to follow it in order to serve our God and build a closer relationship with him.  What makes us think that we can pick and choose what is truth in our life?  God desires our hearts to serve Him rather than our sacrifices. 

The truth will set you free from the lies of the enemy.  The truths of God's word should be followed from the heart as an act of service in our worship to Christ... why because Jesus is truth and grace!!!

Changes are coming!

It's Easter weekend and after writing the last post, I thought this a great opportunity for a new start.

THE GOAL:  To intentionally get out and live.

So my Good Friday began at 7:30am... made coffee :)  and sat down to work on my latest Beth Moore Bible Study- Steppin Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent.  Briefly check to see if there were any important emails.  Finished reading the latest missionary story on Amy Carmichael (more to come), made travel arrangements, changed into beachwear, and set out east. 

Spent the day with Whitney and Isla... worked on a craft project for Isla's weekly pictures, cut out with the cricut... had lunch with Whitney and then headed to 20 mile beach were we sat under a palm tree talking story for almost 4 hours while baby Isla slept.  Went back to Whit's house where we had dinner and talked story til 10pm.

A new step

Recently while listening to a boundless podcast (boundless.org),  I was encouraged that even though I am single, I should spend time with others... not just other singles or by myself.  The goal is to gain insight and wisdom from others going through life situations- ie. communication, leadership, child-rearing, how to submit, etc.

As a recent pattern, I have noticed, I don't leave the house... I don't fellowship with others (except via facebook- and that is not true communication) and I don't get much done at home.  These things then lead into a downward spiral... I got nothing accomplished... I'm useless... How is this serving and glorifying God? ... yada... yada... yada...

Something needs to change!

"In the Stars His handiwork I see..."

Tonight, I broke the pattern of my normal evening routine.  Normally after dinner, a little tv (ie. Bones) while checking email, and finishing a couple of projects, I head to bed to read a couple of chapters in the latest book before drifting off to sleep.  With tomorrow being Good Friday and having the day off, I worked on a mother's day project til 10pm.  The news came on and they mentioned a meteor shower go on so I deviated from my norm!

I love looking at the stars so with a lawn chair already perched out back, I donned a sweatshirt over my pj's and grabbed a pillow and blanket.  The cool night air (ok... it is 76 degrees at 10 o'clock pm and that's chilly) and the silence of the neighborhood made for a peaceful time.  As I lay there, I could truly feel the presence of my Lord, say "Be still and know that I am God."  The breathtaking majesty of his immense creation screams silence.  After a headspinning couple of weeks with vertigo to "Be still" was amazing!!!

I spent the time looking at the handiwork of the divine creator, God, realizing how much He has done and how little I deserve it.  Just as Abraham in Genesis when God has him look up at the sky and tells him his decendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky, I am humbled that God chooses to use me.

Here I was, prior to this, having some issues with being "alone" and God reminded me that He is with me and will never leave me or forsake me!